Wow, my follow through sucks!

So it's been several weeks since I originally posted and crap, time flies when you are doing nothing. I don't think I am any closer to figuring out my life than I was when I started the max dose of my drugs. Pity, life you still have to try! I really don't feel any different. I think the main thing I am waiting for in life is the "light bulb" moment, which Oprah describes frequently. The time when everything makes sense in life, you realize your passion, the passion consumes you, you move forward without thinking because this passion drives you and defines who you are. That passion thoroughly escapes me. I feel a mild blip or two with watching my son or sharing funny moments with my husband but nothing has entered into my brain with a "hallelujah" or "aha". My mom keeps trying to talk to me about religion and how the one thing I am missing is God in my life. Maybe so, but this lost soul sure could use a real bust in the chops. Maybe that would be a bit exciting for a change. I have decided however, that I do want to write. I am not sure that I would be good enough to be published but I would like to write a novel. I have a few ideas for some horror novels, although I know a lot about depression, so maybe it will be a horrible depressing novel. Who knows, stranger things have happened......Susan Boyle is a star.......ok, ok she at least has talent.